A Valentine's Day randomness

So here I am, another Valentine's day down. Nothing big happened, went to a hockey game with a friend after work. That is about it. I can say I tried to have a girlfriend, and I even tried to let her realize what she is missing because I am missing her also. Sent flowers to her office for one last "Hey, I'm still here waiting" and never received a response.

So time to move on to better things in life. I will say, outside of that, I have some pretty good friends growing in my life now. A couple new ones have come along since the New Year, so that is fun. One from high school and another I have met through work, I am a best friend machine. I will say, out of all people, I probably have the biggest and best support group. However, some days I get out of hand and almost burn some bridges with my actions.

I am trying to control that as it has caused a lot of problems in my life. I thought I almost had it, however, two weekends ago I relapsed and it wasn't pretty. Could it be my emotions that drive me to do things like that? I believe it is, but how do you control that. How do you control when you are going to be stressed? How do you control when you are going to be down or depressed? Once I figure those answers out, I know I can control the monster inside me.

"Seek for yourself, O man; search for your true self. He who seeks shall find himself in God."

So I have also been looking up some things about St. Augustine, who my dad and I were kind of named after. St. Augustine and "his licentious and riotous youth and early manhood" to go along with his "continuous struggle with evil; his attempts to find an anchor for his faith". He also had "the untiring efforts of his mother, Saint Monica, to save him from self-destruction; and his ultimate conversion to the Christian faith at the age of thirty-two." So according to this, I still have a couple years until I will truly settle down and grab a hold of the monster inside me and take control. My dad was about that age when he had me and from what I hear up to that point, he was fighting his monster too. So I guess we will see what the good lord has in the books for me and how it all plays out.

God bless!